extracts from certain conversations held at some point this week.
guess which speaker in each conversation is me?
"you see, if he does bad things, its karma. karma will come around,"
"...but, but he's so hot!"
"yeah, thats probably why karma keeps coming round."
"was she pretty?"
"...well, she was... very nice,"
"so she wasn't pretty."
"I didn't say that! she was very nice. just not appealing to me, I'm sure there are other guys who would like her."
"yeah, but you don't think she's pretty."
"...you're evil."
"I love me! I can't stop looking in the mirror. Oh, I love you too."
"thanks for finding some space in your heart for me."
"I was thinking..."
"did it hurt?"
"I've been meaning to tell you, but I'm broke."
"do you know what this means?"
"yes I do. but tell me anyway,"
"I'm going to have to give up being straight. ten years from now, I would have moved in with my coke-snorting girlfriend with our adopted kid who will be a victim of homophobes. and it will be all your fault."
"you know, I have a cookie jar."
"well, thats nice,"
"and in this cookie jar, I have cookies. If I sell all these cookies in the cookie jar, some mystical and unknown force will allow me to obtain an enormous and unending amout of money."
"so now I won't have to be lesbian?"
"ZOMBIE!"
"Cranberries."
"yeah, but it was raspberry rice pudding for dessert,"
"and the zombie?"
"that was the topping,"
"in your head?"
[if you got this joke, kudos. if you didn't, its a fantastic song.]
''you know that french song, the one that goes..."
"yeah?"
"the beat and tune were actually stolen from an english singer who wrote the original song about a gay couple, but one of them leaves the other for a girl,"
"fascinating,"
"and the chorus actually goes 'he gives me head! ooohohoooohhh' "
"..."
"want to hear the song? I've got it here;"
"not particularly, no."
"do you live here?"
"no, just moved here from India,"
"oh, so your Indian?"
"no, I just live in Switzerland,"
"but you just said..."
"French accents put me off,"
"I'm kind of lost,"
"You'll find yourself if you travel. Just don't go to Italy. You never know when the buildings will collapse on you."
