its been almost a year since I relocated to Australia, fifty two weeks since I finished my last paper for the SPM, and too long since I looked back onto everything that has happened to me this year.
I remember, the first day I came to this boarding house.
first saw the room I was to share.
first ran all around, to every room, with Pamela, exploring.
first had dinner in the dining hall.
first sat down with those people who would become some of my closest friends ever.
first day of school.
first classes.
first time I felt so lonely in eight years.
first time I wore stockings.
first time I took the public transport myself.
first time shopping without my mother.
first time I could step out without asking my parents.
first time I had a bank card.
first time I had alcohol.
first time I had anything that was remotely assossiated with drugs.
first time I had to deal with people on my own.
first time I was in a major position in a play.
I vaguely remember my initial apprehension and upset that I underwent when I first came.
the lonliness, the not knowing anything about anything, the feeling of not fitting in.
the disappointment.
the improvement when I began mixing, began getting to know the tiny student cohort of the IB.
the anxiety and uneasiness as we struggled to establish our places and friendships.
the absolute recovery as I settled in with those friends, our relationships firmly set.
that was the start of a different stage of my life.
now, I wouldn't have changed it for anything.
but despite me being so happy, and content with what I have at the moment, it saddens me that already my older memories start to wane; leeching colour like sepia photos in albums.
little things we say we'd never forget, never leave behind, never lose sight of, we'd never, never, never.
never let happen.
I miss you.
you're the only reason I'm coming back for any span of time.
otherwise, I'd have gone to Gold Coast with Mikella.
I don't care if I never set another foot in Malaysia for the rest of my life;
but its because you guys are there that this little toe will be too.
you know something?
in the space of this ten days or so, I've posted more than I have in my old blog of seven months.
huh.
