and if today already wasn't bad enough of a corrosion on my spirits.
it just had to be exacerbated.
now I remember what it felt like to want to just die so badly.
but if I die.
I can't prove myself wrong.
so with anyone who read this as my witness;
here I now swear.
to be strong.
to not give up, no matter how magnetic the temptation.
to try.
to wake up in the morning without that aftertaste of a feeling knowing that I would fail myself again.
beginning now, I will be different.
I have tried to change, many times throughout the past five years.
but never before have I realised the impact of my actions on my life.
thanks to me, and my hedonistic abandon;
I have wasted an entire year.
now I might never achieve that dream of mine.
oh how bitter your soul!
