you know, there really is nothing more satisfying than drinking cold chocolate milk straight out of the carton.
sometimes I deceive myself enough to think that its only the simple things in life that I want.

today we watched Streetcar Named Desire. I really want to go watch the real thing now, even though it is slightly disturbing that I can mouth the words as they are spoken on stage.
Marlon Brando is god, so the actor today just fell flat for Stanley;
but really, the guy who played Mitch? hello there gorgeous.
the Blanche today was much better than Vivien Leigh. Leigh is too breathless, her sexuality repressed just makes her seem like a little girl.
Stella was whatever.

then we went to Soda Rock and laughed at Roz all the time (because Roz, you really are dense sometimes), then we figured out how to get back by missing three trams and walking all the way down to Scotch, where the lock-down was yesterday.
hah, lockdowns and bomb threats.
all in a days work.

speaking of which;

you think you won.
you always think you win.

I sit there across from you, my heart breaking a little every time you inflict the full force of your sarcastic, demeaning smile upon me.
and you know this because of all the experience you have
I can watch your lips curve around the edges of your words, for so long, and with every syllable you aim for bullseye;
no matter that you do it it, point blank, every time you shoot.
no matter that it pleases you somewhat, with my shrugs for trophies, lining your triumphant expression like I would line your glass with cyanide.

because the worst part is that after every time you manage to so completely shred my trust in you, I forgive you, because I love you blindly, and much more than my foolish overtures can account for.

this time, I cannot say I was prepared, but I can say that you took a long shot that fell too far off.
you think you might have scored once again, leaning back in your seat to enjoy another one of my awkward smiles, thinking to place another laurel upon your brow.

but this time, no, I thwarted you, you can have all the expressions you want from me, take them as they come please, and twist whatever meaning you want from them.
but I keep my silence, and with it my knowledge, and this is what I can truly say to you right now;
I have more than you assume I do.

well then, aside from that, I have made my peace with both the people I mentioned in yesterday's posts.
see, it is possible for even me to be mistaken.
not my opinions though, of course.

everything's perfect on the wrong day again.